Cheating Vegan

Before you stop reading because you are afraid I am about to rant on about the virtues of lentils and the sacrifices our meat-saturated culture requires, I have a confession to make. I love fried wontons. Those of you familiar with these crunchy, creamy little blossoms of deliciousness know that they are stuffed with cream cheese. I am ridiculously addicted to them. I can eat a whole order all by myself, even though I feel like oil and cheese will begin seeping out of my very pores to prevent explosion. I used to make Paul take me to the same Chinese restaurant every Friday afternoon when we were dating in high school. All conversation was stalled as soon as the plate of wontons came – it was the only thing we ever ordered – as I concentrated on eating the wontons faster than Paul. He is a very fast eater and I grew up with four brothers, so my paranoia that food will disappear before my eyes is not completely unfounded. So, wontons are my weakness, along with cheese of any kind especially melted or thickly sliced on fresh bread, chocolate in all its glorious manifestations, buttered breadsticks dipped in ranch dressing, macaroni and cheese, and finely whipped mashed potatoes blended with obscene amounts of cream cheese and butter. If there were a support group dedicated solely to the victims of fried stuff with cheese and comfort food, I'd be the president.


For those of you who know that a vegan is a person with strict dietary regulations inspired by health/animal rights/environmental concerns, not an alien species on Star Trek (they are Vulcans, although I am pretty sure they are vegans, too, being so logical and all), then you can see my problem. Vegans aren't supposed to eat or wear or use any products that come from animals. That means no meat, no milk, no eggs, no yogurt, no cheese, no leather, no milk infused or animal tested bath products, and, in some cases, no honey. This list certainly clashes with the aforementioned list. Fried wontons are certainly not vegan-friendly or healthy. So, why do I still call myself a vegan? Vegetarian doesn't fully define my lifestyle because I don't buy milk, cheese, eggs, or yogurt at the store anymore. My infringements are isolated to eating out or at other people's homes. So, why not go easy on myself and use a label like vegetarian with vegan tendencies?


I use the term vegan more like a positive affirmation than a strict label (those of you who are unfamiliar with the term “affirmation” are long overdue for a trip to the Barnes and Noble self-help section or for a subscription to Oprah's magazine). Each time I affiliate myself with the term vegan, I am reminded of how my eating habits affect my health, my community, and the planet. My choices don't only directly correlate with the amount of flab on my belly or my longevity; they also have consequences in political, social, and environmental spheres. I use the title vegan in the same way I use the title writer or activist. These words shake people up a bit. They shock people into asking questions. What do you eat? Whole grains, vegetables, fruit, nuts, seeds, spices, tofu, and beans, lots of beans. What have you published? Nothing. Where do you work? Nowhere. What do you stand for? Stick around, you'll see. It starts to make people wonder just a little bit about how they eat or how they define what makes someone a writer or whether the rules they have set-up for their life have any grounding after all. And I like to make people think. That's why I got my teaching credential, but will probably never use it.


If my labels have worked their magic, you probably have some questions. If you're still with me after the Oprah reference and the hint that you're consumer tendencies might have huge impacts on the world, then you must be really interested or really bored with no Facebook messages to respond to. Either way, I am happy to tell you how I began to aspire toward being a vegan. It started with my health. After getting pumped full of some of the most noxious chemotherapy on the market, I was willing to make any dietary changes that might spare me more hospital time. Following my bibliophile instincts, I began to pick up any book on the subject. I read about super foods, about health studies in China and Okinawa, about people living with cancer, about people who were supposed to die from cancer, about people who strove for optimal well-being using ancient Indian texts. The trend that began to appear was clear: vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts, seeds, spices, and teas – consumed and prepared in ways that keep them as close to their natural state as possible – have healing and restorative powers. McDonald's Big Macs, soda, and, sadly, fried wontons do not. Surprise, surprise. In fact, several studies showed that while vegetables turn off tumors, meat actually stimulates them. That alone was enough for me to pick up a whole foods vegan cookbook and begin up my consumption of the organic good stuff. To those of you thinking you don't need a drastic change because, thank God, you don't have cancer; it's time for a mini biology lesson. Everyone has cancerous cells in their body. It only takes one little bugger to slip through you're exhausted, malnourished immune system to start growing you're own unwanted little buddy. In other words, you want chemotherapy to be your last line of defense, not your first. Not to mention, a vegetarian/vegan diet can help ward off all kinds of diseases including heart diseases (veggies don't have bad cholesterol, go figure). Plus, eating mainly things that grow from the ground can make you slimmer and fight the affects of aging.


But wait, there's more. When researching health affects, I stumbled on all the environmental consequences of eating an animal-based diet. I never thought of myself as a crazy animal lover. I remember a girl presenting a project on animal testing in middle school and thinking the situation was horrifying. Still, I wasn't the kind of person who got all wiggy about animal rights. Over the years, I have been friends with devout vegetarians and never really listened to their arguments. I knew meat was dead animal, but I rarely thought about it. Yet, when I read about the conditions in our nation's slaughter houses, I couldn't get the image of cows' legs snapping as their hooves were being wrenched from frozen truck beds, and other scenes I can't bring myself to relate here, out of my mind. All this suffering for food that is not even good for us. Not to mention the factories massive consumption of water, the amount of food grown to feed animals rather than people, the “safe” chemicals injected into animals, and the factory run off polluting streams and earth. As one professor told me, you can get a low-flow toilet but most of your water waste comes second-hand from the meat you buy. Feel free to fact check this information by reading one or all of my suggested books.


After I got over my initial fury that the government allows all kinds of shockingly dangerous additives into our food and allows the meat-dairy industry to use established health guidelines as propaganda, I became a vegan, or rather an aspiring vegan whole-foodist with ever increasing tendencies toward the raw food movement. Most of the time, I love it. The very act of chopping up fresh tomatoes, garlic, kale, squash, and spinach makes me feel healthier and more grounded in a sustainable lifestyle. I particularly love my healthy nachos (sliced potatoes baked with a dash of olive oil, garlic powder, sea salt, and chile powder, then topped with chopped tomatoes, olives, fire-roasted green chiles, bell peppers, onions, black beans, and avocado). I also like to throw a ton of veggies in a pot of vegetable stock with brown rice and lentils for a fresh stew. Basically, combine a whole grain (quinoa, whole wheat pasta, brown rice, or oats) with a non-animal source of protein (beans, nuts, or tofu), some plant life (fruits, veggies, or fresh herbs), and some spices (turmeric, cumin, rosemary, or cinnamon) and you have a simple, healthy, homemade meal.


My hope is that my diet will continue to get healthier and healthier, even if a tricky, little fried wonton slips in every now and then. I also hope that the word “vegan” and the lifestyle it evokes will pop into people's conversations more often. Each time it does, people will question, if only for a moment, the sanity of our culture's eating habits. Even if they only add a few more veggies to their dinner, think twice before they nuke something vaguely resembling food in the microwave, go vegan one day a week, pick up a vegetarian book, or begin to look for labels like free-range, organic, and preservative-free, we will have moved closer to an eating culture based on health, awareness, and sustainability rather than money, addiction, and synthetic flavoring. So, I'll climb down off my well-worn soapbox (until next week that is), if you promise to remember that your fork is a powerful weapon that can be used for good or evil. As Spock would say, live long and prosper. And help others do the same.